Tag Archives: music

An open letter to musicians of today

I’m only smiling because I can’t find my box cutter

Dear Mr. Kingston,

I would like to personally thank you for urging a generation of already drugged-up, eye-liner wearing, cheese-dick teenagers to commit suicide. I’ll repeat that: commit suicide. Yes, apparently in the world of today is some “beautiful girl” leaves your fat ass (which is inevitable), you’re supposed to kick the pickle. Hey, you could always try guys if these “beautiful girls” are giving your problems.
Look, I’ve spent a good amount of time trying to forget high school, so PLEASE stop reminding me just how stupid everyone in the institution is. Next time I hear your song blaring out of the window of a ’92 Corolla while I sit idly behind it at a green light because the driver can’t figure out how to put down her cell phone and step on the gas, I just might consider taking your advice and become “suicidal.”

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