Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?

No, you didn’t set foot into some strange time portal that whisked you back to 1996. No, I’m not doing my best Paula Cole impression either. I’m talking about the absence of real men from our society these days. Real, manly, men.

a REAL man

In the not-so-distant past, there lived a breed of man that was so raw, so utterly manly, that all other men wanted to be them, and all women (I do mean all of them) had an overwhelming urge to cook and iron for them. Most of you remember the likes of these men. From Charles Bronson to Clint Eastwood to Sean Connery; these were truly great examples of men to be looked up to. Their rugged and grizzled style embodied the very essence of manhood. With this being said, I beg the question, what the hell happened?

Fast forward to today. The current offering of so-called
heartthrobs appalls me. My teenage sister is left with no quality men to swoon over, instead having to settle for the likes of Zac Efron and Pete Wentz (even their names sound gay). I can’t even begin to express how wrong this is. Where are the guns? Where is the facial hair? These aren’t real men. I don’t know about anyone else, but I certainly don’t want to see the future generations of alpha males if the trend continues to decline at such a rapid pace. I’m fairly sure the dead corpse of Charles Bronson could kick Zac Efron’s ass (not something I want MY daughter idolizing).

So what can we remaining men do to reverse this effect? The answer is simple; regain manliness. Grow out those beards and mustaches. Show off that chest hair. Shoot things. Require the viewing of the complete James Bond catalogue annually (without bathroom breaks). In short, we need to reintroduce the world to what real men look like. If we all do our part, I think we can reverse this trend.

Oh, and incase you were wondering, Paula Cole is definitely ok in my book.

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2 responses to “Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?

  1. well said!
    however, due to altered drinking water quality, atmospheric changes or environmental issues, it appears that many of today’s male gender cannot properly grow facial, cranial or bodily hair.
    I would also caution that shooting alone does not a manly man make.

  2. I do concur!
    and I have found that according to yer standards,brother Dave is VERY manly.
    except the chest hair viewage; which would be wrong and disgusting.
    I agree with shinmo though also..in the words of Matthew Miller “I’ve been trying to grow facial hair for the past 2 weeks straight!”

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